She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I am midnight drunk by noon
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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