I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
