...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Randomize
