I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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