I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
