I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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