I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
