Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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