I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
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i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.