they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.