Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
