I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You made out with two different species that night
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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