I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
