I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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