I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
