just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
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