You're my little dorito
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
