I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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