pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
