He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
