I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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