This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
