Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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