Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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