Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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