At least make sure they are 18
Why
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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