i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
