he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize