This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
