It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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