I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
