I hate your face
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he was CRYING into my vagina
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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