dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
just tell him i said nine months
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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