ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
