Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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