just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
