My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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