the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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