I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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