nut hugger
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
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I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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