seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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