she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
