Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize