I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
