Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.