Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.