he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
