East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM