Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Text me some of your sweat