I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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