If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
