a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
