ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
