glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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