Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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