I am spending my child support on dildos
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
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She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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