So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
