Me too!
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
