The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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