It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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