I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize