the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
even my farts smell like vagina
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
